Friday, June 26, 2020


I did this yesterday.  It helped me get my mind off stuff. I might try do another one today.

I'm having really bad anxiety.  Worried about mortality and feeling sad for those left behind.

I actually had some kind of panic attack early this morning.  I ended up pacing and pacing and doing weird things with my hands . . . rubbing them, tapping my fingers together, shaking them, tapping my chest.  It seemed to help.  It was all rather bizarre. 

A little later Wendell and I took a short walk. That helped too.

It's mid day now, and I'm alone at home. I'm trying really hard not to let my mind go to that place again. 



Anonymous said...

I know exactly how you feel. They say panic attacks and anxiety and anger are ways your body (mentally/physically) copes with unaddressed emotions. Have you tried talk therapy with a therapist/counselor? Makes a big difference! I know.

They do say to exercise as it helps release stress/anxiety and endorphins (feel good hormones) especially on a sunny day as Vitamin D also helps you feel better.

Take care and Hope you feel better soon. Praying for you.


Chet Colson said...

Thank you for being humble and vulnerabe; it shows your humanity. We're human,we all face questions on life, events,etc. and go through moments of anxiety, I have. Glad you and Wendell took a walk to get some of the anxiety out. Btw, sorry to hear the passing of Kona Boy. He had a blessed life with loving owners.

Honolulu Aunty said...

You care more than most people. I wish I was more like you - sometimes I am too detached.

I just gave my friend most of a jar of CBD gummies for anxiety from Charlotte's Web. I take their sleep gummies even though I don't need help going to sleep. Somehow I think it helps to improve the goings on in my body. She used to be so against CBD but not anymore. Want to try some of the gummies? The anxiety one is lemon-lime flavored. Not my favorite. I like the raspberry sleep gummies and look forward to them every night.

Don't watch the news. Paint, sew, garden. Hope you are out of this funk soon.

K and S said...

hoping you will be okay, maybe you should go see your doctor?! please take care

Mark Shelby said...

June 2019 my Mom passed away. My Dad passed away 20 years ago. Happy fun carefree days of my childhood are long gone! Life is not the same anymore. I try to recharge my batteries by going to the outback with my 4x4 and going camping and exploring.

Li said...

Hey Jalna, it's happening to a lot of us. The prolonged shut-down, the daily bad news. No matter if you're being sensible and filling your time with practical and relaxing moments, a lot of times it's not enough. Keep trying, maybe taking your art work to the park. Swimming or if you're me (non-swimmer) a walk in the shallow water. Stretch a little. I warned my friend: During a rough period, I called her almost every hour. Told her she didn't need to fix me, JUST LISTEN. I've got the frequency down & she's still my friend.
Next, I'm heading to the Humane Society and delivering extra towels & maybe stroke a cat. Community service and tactile soothing all at once! But whatevahs for now. Take good care!

jalna said...

THANK YOU, PEOPLES!!! I just read all of your thoughts and comments out loud to Landon. He is feeling the same as me. I hope hearing your words helps him as much as it did me.

Izsmom, we are considering seeing a therapist. We will probably go out for a walk soon. Thank you for the links. I will check them out.

Chet, thank you for opening up also. I appreciate it so much.

Aunty, I would like to try out some gummies. I'll check out Charlotte's Web. And I disagree with you, you are a very caring person.

Kat, thank you. We are considering seeing someone.

Mark, so sorry for your loss. Glad you have some kind of outlet.

Li, your words made me feel comforted knowing that the shut-down is a big factor and that others are affected.

Anonymous said...

Maybe another companion? .. a cute, fuzzy, lovable, ball of fur? It wont replace anything.. but it will distract you. CQ

Leslie's pics said...


ricqueo said...

Jalna.....I know you appreciate all forms of beauty and I thought you might enjoy watching this video of the making of beautiful jeweled piece....Ric

Anonymous said...

I hope you start feeling like your old self soon. Going to the beach and looking at the ocean always relaxes me. Maybe it will have a calming effect for you too? Do stop watching the news. I had to stop because it getting so depressing. Please take care! ~e

Susan said...

You are not alone. So much has happened in just a short few months. Praying for you and all of us, for better days ahead.

jalna said...

Leslie, thank you.

Ric, that was amazing to watch. Thank you!

E, thank you. I try not to watch the news too. When Wendell has it on the TV, I put earphones on.

Susan, thank you.

jalna said...

CQ, LOL, distractions are good.

Kalin's Mommy said...

It was nice to see you Friday. even though it was for a short time. Sending air hugs. Mich

jalna said...

Mich, it was so nice seeing you too! I'm totally enjoying the pickled cabbage!

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry for your family's loss. I've enjoyed reading about your Kona over the years. Thank you so much for sharing him with us.

Thank you also for being so willing and open to sharing your life with all of your readers. I've enjoyed reading about your swap meet finds and seeing all the yummy foods you guys find on your adventures. (Btw, I'm the one who told Jun you posted about them on your blog. He said he got contact information from you guys and might meet up for lunch one day. This was all before covid, though. Please let him know he and his mom are missed and the new place just isn't the same)

Anyhow, I hope you don't mind my reaching out as it must be kind of weird having strangers reading about your family but I felt compelled to share this information with you. Know that you are not alone in your feelings of anxiety. It's widely documented that anxiety levels and panic attacks have increased greatly as of late as we all try to navigate through the uncertain time. Animal companions can be so therapeutic. I don't know how I would've managed sheltering in place without my two to keep me somewhat grounded. The loss of Kona, especially now with evertything going on, I can't even imagine how tough that must be. Since others have suggested talking to someone and you seem receptive to that, I just wanted to let you know that the Hawaiian Humane Society hosts a pet loss support group facilitated by a wonderful counselor named Rosemarie. That might be worth checking out.

So sorry for the super long comment. It's my first comment EVER but the news of Kona's passing hits close to home and if there is a chance the pet loss support group can provide you with some comfort I wanted to be sure to pass the information on. But yeah, I could've just said FYI the HHS has a pet loss support group if you're interested. Again, I'm so sorry to hear about Kona. Please take care

jalna said...

Hey Anon, I very much appreciate you taking the time to comment here. I am grateful for every single word and am taking them to heart. The Humane Society's support group may be just what I need, and whenever I feel brave enough to venture out again, I will look into it. Thank you so much for telling Jun about my blog post. He seemed tickled and always made us feel special. I agree that Ressie's is not the same anymore. Too bad, yah. Thank you again. Know that your words were truly very comforting.