Normally it takes me 1/2 hour to get home. Today, it took me over 2 HOURS!! I took this picture while on the on-ramp by the Humane Society. One hour after leaving work I was on the freeway still in the Kaimuki area cursing the tea I drank before I left. I needed to pee badly, and I knew with the traffic inching its way that I wasn't gonna make it. I prayed to God, "Please, please, please let me make it to Kahala Mall." It took me f-o-r-e-v-e-r to reach the off ramp. When I finally reached it, I cheered to myself. Yahooooo!! My glee was shortlived, however, when I ran smack dab into traffic that was moving even slower than the mess I had just escaped from. To make matters worse, it soon became evident to me that THERE WAS NOTHING LIT. THERE WAS NO ELECTRICITY IN THE AREA!! NO RESTROOM!! I started mumbling to myself, "OMG, OMG, where do I go, where do I go? Maybe a bush. I can do bush. Okay, where's the nearest bush? Hurry up. Hurry up. How can I get outta this traffic? Oh no, you're not cutting in front of me. Hurry up. Hurry up. Aaagggrrrr. Go, go, go." "Hey, is that a light?" There was a dim light coming from Times Supermarket. Hurry up. Hurry up. Go, go, go.
I made it to the parking lot!! Run, run, run. They were letting people into Times even though it was only dimly lit. I begged the guy at the door, "I gotta pee REALLY BADLY!!" He pointed me in the direction. I found the restroom. I ran in and closed the door. It was dark. I made my way to the toilet and sat down. Oh crap, I don't think the seat is down. I wonder if I'm in the Men's or Women's restroom. Oh never mind. Who cares. I'll worry about diseases later. Right now I'm so happy, I could sing. "Aaaaa aaaaaaa!!!"
Getting out of the Kahala Mall area took me another hour. But with an empty bladder, I felt like a champ! Waiting in traffic on a dry seat? Priceless!
One thing that I learned about being stuck in traffic . . . if you're bored and want to talk to your husband on the phone to kill time, don't bother. He'll tell you, "You better stop talking and focus on your driving." Okay, fine.
19 comments:
What a hilarious story!..I totally get it and Ican sympathize with what you went thru...Thanks for sharing and I'm glad you got home all right..
I was at the Dillingham Marukai and got a call from my daughter that the power went out in Waialae Kahala. So stopped at a bar in the strip mall with the McDs on Dillingham and watched the Lakers/Mavericks BB game. And it was pouring with all the thunder and lightning. At halftime switched to the news and it showed the traffic cam at the Kahala Mall off-ramp with the line-up going both ways. Maybe you were in it. When I left for home it was still backed up to the 6th Avenue exit so I got off and went home via Kilauea Ave (I live by 22nd. Ave.), that wasabout 7:15. Feel sorry for you!
Shun Wah, it never fails that when I'm stuck in traffic I gotta go pee!
Oh, that's my Times...and it's a unisex toilet room. Use it quite often after my 1 hour drive home from WAAF.
Nate, I probably was in that very traffic jam you saw. I was just reading your post for today and wondered how you fared getting home.
LOL, poor thing. At least you didn't have to use the floor mat. And I don't think I'll every use the restroom at Times Kahala.
Hi jalna,
funnyyyy, funny, hilarious...
so, the big question: was the seat down??
funnyyy,
hilorain
c u p ;o{
So, I am laughing now...I have been in that situation more times then I'd like to think about...coming so close to having an "accident" in the car. Glad you got things taken care of... :)
Floor mat, Erick?? Hmmm . . .
Hilorain, the seat was up, my butt was cold, but still . . . "Aaaaa aaaaa!!!"
Cup, Didi??? Hmmm . . .
Hahahaha, Betty, I can laugh . . . now.
LOL! oh this was funny, Jalna! Been in this situation as well! Downing a coffee bubble drink on the way home from Ala Moana to Mililani is not bad, unless there are forest fires on H2 and the traffic is NOT moving! (Also contemplated the side of the road, but it was broad daylight..)
OMG Jos, your story sounds bad too!! Hahaha, talk about beads of sweat!
I always have an empty plastic bottle in my car...
That's such a good idea Nate. Wonder what we gals can do? Been thinking and thinking since yesterday.
I'm sooo happy you made it to the bathroom in time...and so honored I got to share that special moment with you! hahahahahahaaaaa!!!
Hahahaha, Les, so glad you were available to celebrate with me!
Oh man. I feel like I have gotten stuck in that same kahala mall traffic, except yours sounds worse.
What is with that spot anyway?
Unfortunately for you, I'm just laughing at your story. Ha ha. Note to self: Traffic is awesome when you don't need to pee.
I always want to talk on the phone when I drive. Otherwise it is soooo boring.
I was totally hoping we wouldn't have school because our power was out that morning. Of course, it turned out we were the only ones in the area who didn't have power. We're without power at least twice a month in my section of Laie. Sheesh.
Twice a month, Mariko!!?? Wow! You know what entertains me while I'm stuck in traffic? Audio CDs. It really helps pass the time.
This is very funny. I'm glad you made it!
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